It’s time for a change in my life, my physical appearance, my vehicle, my job, my living arrangement, who I am as a person, something’s going to change in the next year, and in the first part of it. Living the way I have is simply insufficient, dull, and dumb. It seems I’ve given up on everything. I’ve given up on ever getting a better job, on ever moving out of my parents house, of ever having any self esteem or confidence, of ever looking at myself in the mirror and thinking for one second I’m attractive, even to just myself, I’ve given up.

My drive for a better life has fallen to the wayside due largely to the seemingly insurmountable challenges piled up in front of all the obstacles. I’m not depressed, I actually seem quite happy with what is in my opinion less than mediocrity, which is somewhat depressing, if that makes any sense.

I can no longer be the person I am, I thought I was living this life to be close to my friends and family, but I’m down to about 1.5 friends and my family has even grown weary of my presence at some times, so its time to start looking out for numero uno and see where that gets me. I’m going to update my resume and start pushing it out everywhere, factories, businesses, etc.

Even if all I can get is another part time job and I have to balance the two in order to improve my life, I’ll take it. Anything better than what I’ve got now, I need something, anything to give me more confidence, I need more friends, I need a girl, I need someone, anyone to love me and let me love them.

You can see how this list can go on, but the year for improvement, or at least really trying for it is 2010, so let this shit commence.